The Four Essential Qualities to Building & Restoring Trust

Jun 5

By Amanda Da Silva, B.Hkin, B.Ed, and M.Ed

5-minute read

“Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships”. -Stephen Covey

Trust is the foundation in which all organizations and relationships are rooted.

It is what allows us to co-exist and work together. Our trust in others is not only what makes us feel safe but it’s what enables us to flourish within our communities. Without trust, the world would cease to function, let alone progress. We are designed to develop and establish strong bonds with others, and trustworthiness is what pushes us to do more together.

That’s why we need to cultivate and nurture this quality, whether it be with our leaders, our friends, our family members, our neighbours, our co-workers, etc.

What is trust?
How to build or restore trust
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What is trust?

Trust is the glue that holds our reality together.

So, what does the absence of trust entail? When you are the subject of deceit, distrust, and betrayal, especially coming from the people you least expect to abuse it, not only do you feel disappointed and deeply hurt, but doubt creeps in as your mind reassesses each and every relationship you hold.

This leads to conflict, defeat, fragmentation, and isolation. It is the death of credibility, intimacy, respect, and most importantly peace. In the grand scheme of things, a lack of trust can be the downfall of society as we know it, it can easily incite war and destruction. That’s how valuable trust is in our world.

On a more personal level, when trust is lost, we feel withdrawn and disengaged.

We are no longer energetic or passionate. Betrayal can take some of our spirit away, it can disrupt our quality of life as we feel crushed and reluctant to display any sympathy lest we be wronged again. As a result, we begin to pull back from the person who has hurt us since we no longer consider them part of our world.

We may suffer their loss silently, but we don’t feel inclined to share with them what is of great importance to us anymore and we certainly don’t feel obliged to follow through on any commitments or engagements that once connected us.

On a professional level, when the level of trust is low between co-workers, employees, and their leaders, individuals are no longer fully involved in their responsibilities.

They’re also less likely to collaborate or work with the passion and creativity required for their organization to flourish. The bare minimum is what defines their performance as they don’t believe that others deserve the work they do or the efforts they make. In addition to that, they might feel apprehensive to share their distrust because they deem it risky and unsafe.

This is why the reticent nature of trust can be an issue for teams and organizations.

How to build or restore trust

“The simple, often overlooked fact is this: work gets done with and through people. There’s nothing more impactful on people, their work, and their performance, than trust.” -Steven M.R. Covey.

How can we restore something that is not always clearly and readily expressed? Trust, when broken, is not easily recovered. With that said, we can rebuild that trust through the actions and decisions we take. We can be trustworthy, authentic, and dependable by:

Being honest

While being truthful all the time can be difficult, honesty is essential to building and maintaining trust. Being honest with others and choosing to tell the truth even when it is difficult shows others just how much you care about and value them. Not only that but people can often tell when you’re not being sincere, especially when your actions are not in congruence with your words.

Being reliable

When you consistently display your reliability and dependability, this promotes trustworthiness. Being true to your word and following through with your commitments is one of the building blocks of trust.

Being transparent

Because people can detect your insincerity, they tend to assume the worst about your true intentions.

We all struggle with the anxiety that the unknown produces, especially when we constantly feel out of the loop. For instance, when leading members of an organization do not share decisive information with their employees, this could engender feelings of distrust and wariness in the workplace.

Being vulnerable

When you’re not afraid of admitting when you’re wrong and recognizing your mistakes, this allows other people to feel more comfortable in sharing their thoughts and opinions with you.

On the other hand, when you are unable to apologize for your wrongdoings, your reluctance to open up and be vulnerable prevents others from fully trusting you. It takes great courage to allow yourself to trust, and it takes great character to have others trust you.

If you feel that the level of trust in your personal and professional relationships is not the same as it used to be or as it could potentially be, take the time to examine whether you are being honest, reliable, transparent, and vulnerable.

This can help you determine where this lack of trust is stemming from so you can work on restoring it.

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