Embrace Authenticity: A Method to Discover What You Truly Need and Want

Sep 1

By Amanda Da Silva, B.Hkin, B.Ed, and M.Ed

5-minute read

As we welcome the crisp, autumnal air of September, I find myself reflecting on the journey we've shared together. I've always strived to be open and honest with you, sharing insights and experiences that I hope have brought value to your lives. As humans we are in this ever evolving changing landscape called life. As we navigate that which brings us joy whilst also encountering obstacles that force us to grow, we evolve with intention allowing our core values to act as our north star guiding us along the way.

What are your core values? What do you truly need and want in your life right now?

For me, the words love, live, and serve have been my guiding light. Daily I ask myself am I sharing my love, am I doing what I love, am I living in the fullest expression of who I am and sharing deeply with those around me, am I present in life, am I demonstrating servant leadership and so on…

When we journal and reflect we learn more about ourselves.

Today, I want to share a pivotal shift in my life and business.

Five years ago, my life was dominated by 'shoulds'. I bent over backward to please others, working tirelessly in roles that didn't fulfill me, and yet, I couldn't shake off the shackles of expectation. But then, I discovered the joy of running my own side hustle whilst also working full-time. It offered me the freedom to pivot as needed, to adapt to what was working in real-time, and most importantly, to be me and allow me the flexibility to be there for my family.

In the hustle and bustle of running a side business, I found myself caught up in a whirlwind of 'shoulds'. I was told I 'should' write blogs regularly, I 'should' create content consistently – these were the constraints I then arbitrarily placed upon myself.

But in doing so, I was unwittingly 'should-ing' all over myself, as Dean Graziosi and Tony Robbins often put it.

I remember when I started this blog, full of energy and ambition, determined to share my thoughts with you on a weekly basis. But as time passed, I found myself shifting to a monthly rhythm, trying to balance the desire to connect with you and the demands of my own life. And now, I find myself at another crossroads.

I've been looking at what other experts do, and how they share 'free' content regularly as if it's an obligation.

But that's not why I started this. I began writing because I wanted to share my passion, my thoughts, and my experiences with you. I wanted our connection to be authentic, not bound by arbitrary rules or schedules.

So, I've decided to take a step back from the constraints I've placed upon myself. I'm transitioning my blog to a newsletter only, but more than that, I'm giving myself permission to write newsletters when I feel moved to do so—when I have something I genuinely want to share with you.

This transition is not just about me. It's also about you. It's about encouraging you to make **unapologetic changes** in your lives as necessary. Stop to re-evaluate, and more importantly, stop 'should-ing' all over yourself and start living authentically.

My executive coach once told me that I have a unique ability to prioritize what truly matters, and to allocate my energy where it will make the most impact. This skill has been instrumental in my evolution, guiding me toward clarity and alignment with my true self, not worrying about what others think but what I know to be right for me.

Today, I stand stronger in my sense of self than ever before. I have a clearer understanding of my wants, my values, and my priorities. But to continue growing, to continue evolving, I know I need to let go of certain aspects of my current business model.

I need to shift my focus toward the areas that have the potential to yield more impactful results.

In the near future, you might notice some changes on my website to reflect this new direction.

Rest assured, these changes are all part of my commitment to provide you with a more streamlined and effective personal growth resource. I'm also thrilled to share that I'm working on my second book! This time, I'm focusing on empowering young people to architect their own futures, chase their dreams, and build the lives they wish to lead.

I ask you, dear reader, is there an area in your life that needs rethinking? A place where you need to reset, to shift your focus?

How many times have you told yourself, "I should be doing this'', or "I should be more like that"? These 'shoulds' can pile up, creating a mountain of expectations and obligations that weigh heavy on our hearts.

But here's a secret: YOU have the power to change that narrative. You have the ability to replace the 'shoulds' with 'wants', to choose your path based on what brings you joy and fulfillment. And I want to share some strategies with you on how to do just that.

No.1: Practice Mindfulness

The first step in breaking free from the 'shoulds' is to recognize when you're using them. Pay attention to your thoughts. When you catch yourself saying "I should…", pause and reflect. Awareness is a powerful tool you can wield at anytime if you so choose.

No.2: Reframe Your Thoughts

Once you've recognized a 'should', try replacing it with a 'want'. Instead of saying "I should exercise more", say "I want to exercise more because it makes me feel good". See how that small shift changes your perspective?

During this activity of reframing your thoughts you might also discover that you ‘don’t want’ something when you replace the ‘should’ with a ‘want’. This is okay too. It actually means you’re one step closer to creating greater clarity in your life by getting rid of a thought that no longer serves you. This leads into the next point…

No.3: Dig Deeper

If you're struggling to reframe a 'should' into a 'want', it might be because it's not something you truly want to do.

Ask yourself why you feel you should be doing it. ***Is it because you genuinely want to, or because you feel obliged to?*** If it's the latter, it might be time to let go of that expectation.

No.4: Be Kind to Yourself

Remember, it's okay to not want to do something. You don't have to do everything. You don't have to be everything. It's okay to choose, to prioritize, and most importantly, to say no. Be kind to yourself.

No.5: Practice, Practice, Practice

Changing deeply ingrained thought patterns takes time. Be patient with yourself. Celebrate small victories. The more you practice, the easier it will get.

***So, to each one of you who has joined me on this journey, thank you. Your support has meant the world to me.*** As I continue to evolve, I hope to inspire you to do the same. To **live authentically, unapologetically.** Because at the end of the day, we owe it to ourselves to do more of what brings us **joy** and keeps us aligned with our **goals** and purpose.

Let's make every day count!

With love and so much gratitude ALWAYS,

Amanda Da Silva

P.S. In order to better serve you, I’m transitioning my blogging cadence to reflect current business goals and priorities. So, if you aren’t already subscribed to my free newsletter and you’d like to be part of my community (I cannot wait to e-meet you!) be sure to click here to subscribe.

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