I Got Fired from the C-Suite: Here’s How I Recovered

Aug 9

By Amanda Da Silva, B.Hkin, B.Ed, and M.Ed

4-minute read

"Embrace the suck!"

The first time I heard this term, I thought it was crass.

Then I realized it was a military term defined as "to consciously accept or appreciate something extremely unpleasant or unavoidable."

To me, embracing the suck means acknowledging a problematic or difficult situation by adopting the required mental toughness, standing tall with integrity, and staying positive despite 'the suck.'

Embracing the suck just means you lean into unavoidable challenges. It’s something members of the military do to stay strong no matter what gets thrown their way. | photo from unsplash

Getting Fired from the C-Suite — Here’s How I Recovered ⤵

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Recovering from a Big Let Down

When I lost what I thought was my dream job, I had to embrace the suck.

There are many layers to this story, but I'll have to leave some of the juicy-but-totally-confidential plot points for a best-selling future novel.

In August of 2018, I was employed as the CEO of an independent school that I believed in deeply. The job had landed in my lap — an unexpected promotion. This was a dream job.

As my mantra of love, live and serve is who I am and what I am about, this role would help me live out my mission. I would positively impact society, connect with more people and organizations, positively influence more students, and develop amazing leaders. Exactly what I love to do!

Then, without warning it, all came crashing down.

Secrecy, unethical acts and other trials and tribulations from external forces had money and power outweighing my value to the organization.

When politics, money and power become the focal point, you are at the mercy of others (and you're in for an unpleasant ride).

My dream and my plans for both myself and the organization ended. Like that, with no warning, my life was upended! BOOM, I was terminated amidst the Covid-19 pandemic.

I needed to create a new dream for ME. And a new plan of action.

Here's what I did to recover from that blow and get back on my feet. I took three simple steps that you can also take if dealing with a huge setback or disappointment.

Deal with the problem by reframing it.
Reset your life by letting yourself dream again.
Take action!

Let's go into each step in more detail.

Step 1: Deal with the Problem

Feel It and Reframe It

Working through any traumatic event usually starts with an emotional response.

When facing struggles of any magnitude, I let the emotions run through me. I have a small pity party, and then gather myself up to think about how I want to reframe the situation.

No matter how scary a situation might be, confronting our emotions about whatever's happening to us is our best chance for growth. It's hard to believe, but the more scared we are, the bigger the opportunity is in front of us.

Most times, our thoughts about our circumstances make us suffer the most, not the actual event itself. This reframing of our beliefs is best described in a book I recently read by Byron Katie. In Loving What Is, she describes a technique called "The Work."

The Work gives us "a way to change the projector--mind--rather than the projected."

Byron Katie poses four questions of inquiry for you to investigate and apply to your particular circumstances:

Is it true?
Can I absolutely know that it's true?
How do I react…what happens, when I believe that thought?
Who would I be without the thought?

I have found this to be helpful in moving forward when I'm stuck.

Step 2: Reset

Find Yourself Again & Dream

When facing difficult times, I find great strength in solitude.

When I got fired from the C-suite, it was time to stop, press pause on life, and try to reflect on the aspects that I controlled.

I asked myself what was important to me and let myself dream again. Then I created new goals for myself that I could pursue. When feeling down in the dumps, I reframed the difficulties as challenges that I was strong enough to overcome.

Step 3: Take Action!

Embrace Newton’s Laws

At university, studying Human Kinetics, I remember learning Newton's Laws.

Newton's 3rd law formally stated, "for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."

I now relate this concept to everything in life. As a physical being, I act under this law. I know that with great action and effort, the same force of equal magnitude will result.

Action must be specific.

It must be directly related to your goals and the pathway upon which you want to travel. Without a plan, you haphazardly make your way through life. You may exert forces, thoughts and actions in many areas. But perhaps you do not make a dent in a particular area of achievement because you did not purposefully plan.

The fruits of your labour do not always show up when you wish.

But when you put in the Work, the results will eventually follow. Ask anyone successful, and they will tell you that they have goals and clarity of purpose as well.

Getting Unstuck

As we grow up, we are trained not to have an imagination.

But it is through our imagination that we learn how to feel energy and empowerment after a struggle.

After my first son was born, I read a book about Mary Kay Ash. In the book, she stated, "If you can dream it, you can do it, but if you can't dream it, you're probably right!" That statement inspires me to this day.

If you're in power, joy, and truth, abundance finds ways to come to you.

As human beings, we tend to create around us what we honestly, genuinely believe. Although you have no control over external circumstances, you can use this framework to get unstuck and start empowering yourself no matter what life throws at you.

In my experience, the only constant in life is change. We live in a state of flux.

Knowing this, be ready for change and embrace all life has to offer us: the good and the bad.