3 Examples of Growth Mindsets That’ll Improve Your Relationships
By Amanda Da Silva, B.Hkin, B.Ed, and M.Ed
5-minute read
The growth mindset is based on the idea that we can cultivate and develop our traits by way of trial and error, but most importantly, by being persistent. Unlike the fixed mindset, a growth mindset will expand your understanding of situations, yourself, and your relationships with other people. Growth mindsets are especially useful in your relationships because they can help both parties overcome obstacles instead of viewing them as hurdles that are impossible to cross.
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Understanding Relationships
To first understand examples of growth mindsets, we should understand relationships for what they are.
Relationships can mean different things for different people, but they all have a purpose. The purpose of some relationships is companionship, love, and belonging, while other relationships can be all about profit, money, and power. In order to apply the growth mindset, it’s important to first know the purpose of the relationship and what to improve upon.
Growth mindset example #1: Different vs. complete mindset
One of the most common problems that happen in relationships is when two people are different but they treat the difference as a negative dent in their relationship.
A classic example of reasons why people quit relationships is thinking that they are too ‘incompatible’ to the point where they neglect the potential for growth.
Fixed mindset:
-‘we’re too different from each other, I like to do this but they don’t’
Growth mindset:
-‘Our relationship works very well, we complete each other’
Oftentimes in relationships, all you need is to open your mind and see the situation through the other person’s eyes. Not everything is black and white, and relationships are meant to benefit both people.
Growth mindset example #2: Weakness vs. potential mindset
Another common complication in relationships is thinking that you are less worthy. It’s very easy for people to feel intimidated by things such as power, intelligence, money, beauty, and grace. When the instant reaction to those characteristics is feeling weaker or less deserving, this is proof of a fixed mindset.
What you need to be thinking instead is that you have more potential, the fact that someone got to a level you are not in only says you are not at that level yet. It’s what sets admiration and optimism from contempt and envy.
Fixed mindset:
‘they’re so powerful, their car is amazing and they live in a great house, I wonder why they even like me’
Growth Mindset:
‘I am excited about what the future holds because I can already see it with my own eyes, it’s wonderful, and I will definitely get there’
By developing a growth mindset in your relationships, you will be able to see that everything in life requires time and dedication. Nothing is fixed, and you can always get better.
Growth mindset example #3: Relationship problem vs. relationship progress
Problems are inevitable in relationships whether minor or major, what defines their outcome is strictly the way we react to the problem itself. If we continue seeing problems in relationships in terms of pros and cons, it will eventually fall apart. Therefore, it is important to start seeing problems in relationships as areas to improve upon.
A perfect way to describe this is the Japanese art of Kintsugi. One would think that those marbled golden strikes are creative patterns that have been carefully crafted by the artist, but they are just the broken pieces of pottery assembled by reinforcing the areas of breakage with powdered gold. The final product is an art piece that deserves its own booth at the Louvre museum.
Fixed mindset:
‘we have a lot of problems in our relationship and they’re just annoying, it’s just not worth it’
Growth mindset:
‘there are a few areas we can improve upon in our relationship. After all, this is where memories are made!’
In Conclusion
A growth mindset is very important for relationships as it strengthens and reinforces your journey.
Problems will surely come, but it is our mindset that counts when dealing with them. By changing the way we see failure, success, or problems, we can enjoy our relationships and build stronger bonds.
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Hi! I’m Amanda Da Silva.
I’m a mother of two boys, a wife, daughter, teacher, entrepreneur, former CEO, and life-long learner. I’m all about personal growth, community 💕, and being of service. (Find out more about me here.) In addition to being passionate about personal development, I’m an educator and coach with 20-years experience teaching and leading in the BC school system. I have a B.Hkin, B.Ed, and M.Ed, specializing in leadership and administration. Creating community and leading thriving teams are two of my favourite things to do. I also love helping people live empowered and growth-oriented lives.
I hope you’ll join me as we build our success together! 🙌
